Perspective

Losing Your Health Doesn't Mean That

You've Lost Everything ...

by Marc Gellman

‘Best of the Worst’

Reprinted with permission

Sept. 28, 2006 - This week's popular but untrue saying is, “If you have your health, you have everything.” Because if this saying is true, then it also true that if you lose your health, you have nothing. This is not only false, it is spiritually corrosive. Placing upon people the double burden of both their illness and the despairing conclusion that their illness has taken away from them everything important is much more than false. It is deeply cruel.

I know that the saying intends to be positive. It intends to say something like, “We should never want more than just our health because nothing we have is more important.” Of course I agree that we should strive to live healthful lives and avoid the trans-fatty parts of the universe, but health is a fleeting thing, affected by environmental and genetic and even purely random factors. The fixation on health as the only important thing is what is behind this saying, and what is behind the unnecessary and often debilitating despair of sick people.In my life so far, the two people I knew who best refuted the if-you-have-your-health-you-have-everything saying were Henry Viscardi and Pam Rothman, may their memories be blessed.

Born with severely short, twisted legs, rejected by his parents and forced to grow up in a sanatorium, Henry Viscardi was the Martin Luther King Jr. of the disabled. He was a driving force behind the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act and the founder of the Henry Viscardi School for the disabled in Albertson, N.Y. One day when my friend Msgr. Tom Hartman and I were visiting Henry, he said to us, “I never think of the people in this center as disabled. I think of you guys as just temporarily abled.” Henry taught us that day that we are all part of the same continuum of gradually decreasing ableness that moves from the time we are children flying across lawns to the time when we wake up, get out of bed and say, “Oy, that hurts!” Nobody is disabled. We are all just temporarily abled until that day when we are no longer quite so abled.

When Moses broke the tablets bearing the Ten Commandments because of his anger at the people for worshiping the golden calf, God gave him a new unbroken copy, but God also commanded Moses to place all the broken pieces of the first tablets together in the same golden ark of the covenant that held the new unbroken tablets. The broken and the whole were together in the same ark. As it was so it is with us now. Those of us who happen to be disabled and those of us who happen to be temporarily abled are together in the covenant of God's love and must be together in the bonds of love and support we extend to each other. The broken and the whole are together in the same ark.

In the Jewish laws concerning the treatment of dying people, the rabbis taught this same lesson. In Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah, the first line we read is, “A dying person is like a living person in all essential respects.” We are commanded to view dying people the way we would view any other temporarily abled people. They are living and we are living. In that essential respect we are the same. When we coddle them, infantilize them, hide the truth from them or treat them as if they were already dead, we have separated them from the community of people made in the image of God. My father, Sol Gellman, has Alzheimer's disease. My father does not know my name, but when I hugged him and kissed him goodbye on my last visit, he grabbed me and said to me, “I know that I belong to you, and I know that you belong to me.” Even now, in the midst of his deepening fog, my father still knows everything that is important to know.Pam Rothman died of cancer after a long struggle, and although she eventually lost her life, she never lost her smile. One day sitting in her hospital room, Pam said to me, “Rabbi, I can't be the best of the best any longer, but I can still be the best of the worst.” And she was the best of the worst, the very best of the very worst. She helped other cancer patients cling to hope, she held her family together by her embracing love and she read and wrote to the end. In the end Pam was taken, but she was never defeated.

Like Pam, many people find that their greatest artistic, spiritual and personal achievements come after they are sick. The greatest theoretical physicist in the world is Stephen Hawking. He has the motor neuron disease ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease), and he cannot move from his wheelchair. He speaks through a speech synthesizer. He has the best mind trapped in the worst body and this fact has not dimmed but brightened his brilliant light. Christopher Reeve was a good actor and a great Superman but he became a great inspirational force only after his injury. The greatest modern Jewish theologian was Franz Rosenzweig, and though he died in 1929, also from the predations of ALS, his illness did not diminish his brilliant translation of the Bible into German with his friend Martin Buber nor his philosophical masterwork, “The Star of Redemption,” which he wrote by holding a pencil in his mouth and pointing to the keys on the typewriter.Henry and Pam, Stephen and Chris, Franz and Helen Keller, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Soren Kierkegaard, FDR, Beethoven and a thousand brave and wise and creative people whose bodies were broken or who suffered disabilities or ill health have given everything to the world—while millions of people who have their health have given nothing. And how else can we understand God's decision to pick Moses, a disabled man with a cleft palate to be the leader of the Exodus from Egypt? God picks the soul, not the body. Through an endless list of wounded genius we are taught and must finally learn that losing your health does not mean that you have lost your genius or your destiny.Much of my counseling is devoted to helping people cope with newly broken lives. Perhaps their life has been broken by injury or illness or perhaps by the death or illness of someone they loved more than life itself. In all these cases the people who come to see me know that they have lost a substantial part of their physical or mental health, and because they secretly believe this damn saying, they think they have lost everything. My job is to convince them that the saying is wrong. I must try to urge them, cajole them, teach them and remind them that even in their weakened state they still have everything they need to lead a spiritually, morally and even physically happy life. They may not have what they had but they have what they have, and as long as they are still alive, what they have is enough. They may not be able to do what they once did. They may have to adjust the expectations of their life, but they do not have to surrender their life or their hope or their resolve to be the best they can be with what they have left. This is not a counsel of despair and resignation. It is a counsel of hope and faith.

The reason health is not everything is your health is about you, and EVERYTHING REALLY IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT OTHERS:

serving others, loving others and teaching others reveals our true purpose and ultimate destiny. The rabbis wrote, “Give me community or give me death.” Losing your health is a terrible thing but losing a community of love and purpose is fatal. Our only chance to find everything is to get out of ourselves.So I wish you a year of health, and I wish you a year of knowing that having your health is not even close to having everything .

Now to Him who is able to keep you from falling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 1:24-25

Back Home

When I looked at my blog today and saw the last post was on September 26, I became aware of how these last weeks have slipped so quickly by - life can be like that sometimes. I have been very ill (yes even more "ill" than normal!). I've survived 2 bouts of Septic Shock, each one requiring a tour of duty in ICU. The source, I'm told is Urinary Sepsis, but honestly I don't know how the doctors can be certain that the infection started there. The infection got into my bloodstream and spread to all of my organs. That's what they call 'septic shock'. There is a blood test for Lactic Acid that the doctors check if you are in sepsis. Normal is below 1, and mine was 3.6 at the highest. The doctor said that I have a strain of e Coli. I've heard that Apples and undercooked beef are prime sources for e Coli, and I've been eating a lot of apples lately, so I wonder if that is where it came from. Personally, I think I ingested an amount that a healthy person would be able to tolerate, but which I, in my immune suppressed state could not. I hope and pray that it is under control now and am so happy to be home with my family. I still feel very weak, dizzy, and I have pain, but it's getting a little better day by day.

During my first hospital stay, I was feeling much better on my last day and started watching the Home Shopping Network (DANGER!). Since I have my Visa card number (MORE DANGER!), I hopped onto the phone and started buying "things" I just "couldn't do without". It's a dangerous thing for me to be feeling better, but still under the influence of Dialudid, and all alone in a hospital room. Most of the things I bought are very nice and useful. One of my more questionable purchases was a 2 1/2 foot tall fountain featuring a fairy with butterfly wings and lots of tiffany style glass work and a tiffany lamp that shines down on it all. I love fountains, and also I had this idea that my kitty would find it and drink from the fresh, flowing water. However, when I tried to introduce her to her little oasis, she went ballistic and clawed her way up and over me as fast as she could go. Acting out the very definition of insanity, I actually tried this a second time, with exactly the same results. I think it was the sound of running water that scared her - she thought she was about to get a bath. Hmmmm..... it's like my daughter said, "I don't really think it's something we NEEDED", when I asked her what she thought of it. She was trying so hard to be polite and not burst my bubble. Oh well, it's here now and not going back - it'll be a good conversation piece, as it sits in our dining room faithfully pouring forth it's water over the years. It's definitely unique, and our guests aren't likely to have seen one anywhere else....

In between the two bouts with sepsis, I have vague recollections of receiving a lot of packages in the mail (from my shopping spree), talking to Bucky and Ruth one day, trying out my new steam mop (yes, another HSN purchase), working on paperwork for my Disability Insurer, a few doctor visits, Amanda getting sick, and me just generally feeling cruddy and trying to make it through the days one at a time. Then came the second round of Sepsis and the whirlwind of all of that. It feels like you get sucked into some ailment, then into the hospital, and everything is a blur and then you are plopped out on the sidewalk and sent home. There is so much I miss or forget, so many loose ends. I know it's frustrating for my family to have to tell me the same things over and over, and I pray for their patience and understanding - I really am trying to do my best, it's just soooo hard.

I was shocked to realize that Summer had completely given way to Autumn during my illness. There is so much I missed, not the least of which is helping my son with his schoolwork and spending time with my daughter. We had planned to spend the whole day Friday Nov 2 together, but I ended up in the hospital. I also blitzed right through my husbands BIG 60th birthday, although I was relieved that I had been able to obtain a special gift for him months before.

Another thing I lost track of is the mountain of documents that have to be provided to my Disability Insurer by Monday, Nov. 12. Michael requested all of the documents for the past year and they were all stacked up here waiting for me to do something with them. Mom took them to Kinko's today to get them all copied. It will cost around $60 for the copies, plus we've already spent almost $300 on the documents themselves. Then I'll have to overnight them to Liberty Mutual since we're almost upon the deadline now. I'm sure that won't be cheap since the documents weigh over 7 pounds (and this is only partial records for the last 12 months!). Anyway, it's almost done now and I won't have it hanging over my head (until the next go-round!). It does make my head hurt sometimes, just trying to stay afloat in the mounds of paperwork, Medicare "stuff", medical bills, pharmacy bills, etc. I just have to take it a day at a time and do what I'm able to do for each day.

I miss swimming too. I haven't been in nearly 2 months, and it's the only physical outlet my joints will tolerate. I'm hoping to get back over the weekend or early next week. When I make it to the pool I'll know for sure that I'm on the up side of this ordeal. I can't wait!

I have no travel plans for the fall, but most of my family will travel to the "home place" in Louisiana for Thanksgiving. This includes my 20 year old daughter and her boyfriend. It's his first trip over, and a traditional rite of passage for anyone that is seriously dating a member of the family. It's quite a change from life around metro Atlanta, and there have been some that just couldn't deal with the shock of it all. I don't believe this is the case with her boyfriend; they have a very stable relationship and he seems to simply adore her. No matter what a shock the backwoods of Louisiana are to him, I think he'll do whatever it takes to adjust. I really wish I could be there. I know it will be a memorable trip, full of fun and lots of stories to share afterwards. I wish could join them, but simply must sit out this time around. I have been blessed to visit twice this year, and that will likely be the best I can do.

It's great to be home and back among "the living".

A Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Thank you for another day of life. Thank you for allowing me to wake up in my home with my family all around me. Thank you for your Word and for your faithful servants that come to my home every week to study your Word with me.

I trust in you for all things and all situations. When I look at my "to do" list with my human eyes, I am overwhelmed. When I close my eyes and pray for your guidance - for you to show me the next right thing to do - just ONE thing at a time, I feel peace. Thank you for this wonderful gift. When the whole world seems like it is closing in around me, I turn to you. I visualize myself resting in your arms and sincerely pray for your guidance and protection. You never fail me. You are truly an awesome God. Thank you for your care. Thank you for helping me keep it simple, taking life one very small step at a time.

Father, please forgive me for my many sins. I know that if I stop and ask and listen to you, you will be faithful and always guide me in the right direction. Please forgive me for not asking you and for taking my own way, and for the many sins and hurts that result.

Father, I pray special blessings today for those that are near and dear to my heart. I pray that you would surround them with your angels of protection and that you would send your Holy Spirit to speak to their hearts, gently guiding them in the right direction in every step they take. I thank you for the ministering of the Holy Spirit to my heart; I am so grateful to have "ears to hear" when you speak to my heart.

Thank you for another day of life. Please help me to use every minute of it for your glory.

In Jesus Christ's holy name I pray, Amen.

The Ant and the Grasshopper

OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

****************************************************************************

MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair
share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of
single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote!

Blessed

I am truly blessed. God showers me with blessings every day and I am surrounded by his love demonstrated daily by my family and Christian friends, and even by strangers I meet along the way.

Two weeks ago, Amanda and I went to the mall. These days, I get to the mall perhaps 3 times a year because I can't walk long enough to go on a "normal" shopping trip. In order to go mall, I check out a complimentary wheelchair at Customer Service, and my companion pushes me around. This is one of those things that used to embarrass me so much that I just didn't go to the mall at all. I've learned not to be embarrassed about it. I'm grateful for the availability of the chairs, and everyone that has taken me has been very gracious about pushing me around and seems to genuinely enjoy helping me. No one has ever complained, though I know the chair gets hard to push when we go into carpeted stores.

Well, back to my story. Amanda got a job as a hostess at Smokejack, a local "upscale" BBQ restaurant. They told her to dress "nicely", and that no jeans were allowed for hostesses. While the other staff often dress much more casually, the host/hostess is expected to dress a little better, as they are in most restaurants. You'd have to know Amanda to know that her closet was simply not "hostess ready". She needed a few items to mix and match so that she could dress properly for her new job.

So we went to the mall together, Amanda pushing me in the wheelchair while we shopped. We went to Ann Taylor first, and lucked out right away, finding a perfect skirt and awesome top style that she liked so much, she got two of them (in different colors). We then went all over the mall, but didn't find anythng else.

At the very end of our shopping trip, we neared the exit where the Sharper Image store is located. I asked to go into Sharper Image, because I really like their "gadgets". We went in and Amanda patiently maneuvered me around the store, taking me to each niche and corner that caught my eye. Right in the middle of the store, there were these very luxurious all-leather massage chairs. The chairs somewhat resemble recliners, but are not fashionable enough to put in a living room or den - you can tell by looking at them that they are designed first for function, and second for looks.

I sat in a black leather massage chair that had full head to toe coverage. The massage in that chair was - well unbelievable. I've been to MANY spas and paid for MANY massages, and the quality of the massage in this chair equaled any massage I've ever received. It was truly wonderful, and I thought that it would be great especially when I'm having "bad days" with my joints and muscles.

Somehow I knew right then and there that I was going to get this chair. How? I didn't know. The price was $4,000.00 - yes you read it right and I didn't mis-type - it was $4,000.00! The price was really irrelevant, however, because I had an assurance so strongly in my heart - the Holy Spirit was telling me the chair would be mine. It was as if the Father was saying "I know what you need, and I will provide it." Days went by and I shared my "chair" experience with friends and family, each time stating confidently that I knew the chair would be provided for me. I didn't know how, but I knew it would be.

Then came last Saturday (Aug 18). Amazingly, the chair was marked down to 1/2 price because a new model was coming in. On that very same day, the chair was purchased FOR ME. I was given the reciept, and the store is calling me today (Aug 20) to arrange a delivery time. I am blessed; truely blessed. God knows my every need, wish, and desire, and he provides without fail.

There aren't too many people that would go out and buy a $2,00.00 chair to give to another person who is not even a relative, and I am 100% certain that the person(s) that bought it for me was simply being obedient to the Holy Spirit - this person was obedient to God and spent their hard-earned money on what can only be described as an exquisite gift JUST FOR ME. I feel so blessed and grateful. I know the chair will help me so much when I'm in pain, and may even help me to take less pain medication! It will also help Michael with his constant struggle with back pain.

God is good, all the time.

P.S. I think my bedroom will become very popular soon! Please stop by and enjoy a massage in my new chair, and I'll throw in a Spa foot treatment - Guaranteed to please!

A Tale of Kitties

We've had a sad run of luck with our kitty cats lately. It's so strange, because Amanda had Domino until she passed quietly in her sleep at the healthy age of 16 1/2 (very old for a cat - average lifespan for an outdoor cat is 8 years, for an indoor cat is 12-15 years). We rescued Domino from a family that was moving into dorms that didn't allow pets. If we hadn't taken her in, she was going to the pound the next day. Instead, she came and lived with us for 13 1/2 years and was well loved and cared for. She started out as an outdoor cat, but as she aged she gradually became an indoor cat for her own safety and well being. My sister in law, Michelle, was calling everyone she knew to find a home for Domino, and it was perfect timing for us. We had recently moved from an apartment (not cat friendly) to a house with a huge yard, and Amanda really wanted a cat.

Then came the string of bad luck. First there was Felix. We came home from a trip and a carpenter who had been working in our house introduced us to a new family member that had taken up residence. This kitty was a boy, and only a few months old - but old enough to survive without his mother. Somehow we became aware that the kitty in fact had a home, and that he had a litter of brothers and sisters, and that his name was Joey. So we contacted "Miss Angel" who lives in the next neighborhood over and reluctantly returned Joey to her. We had already fallen in love with him - he had such a great personality and exuded health.

"Miss Angel" was so happy to have him back that she gave Will a reward of $10 - BIG BUCKS for a 7 year old. She also let us have the pick of the rest of the litter. Joey's brother, Felix, was the obvious choice. Full of health and personality, we warmed up to each other right away. So Felix came to live with us. Felix was a beautiful dark gray tabby that had a loud purr and seemed to say "Roy" frequently. He was very opinionated, confident, and totally independent.

Felix quickly grew to his full size - which was considerable. He was a true TOM CAT. Big, strong, independent, and prone to wandering the neighborhood in search for conquests (both female felines and small birds, chipmunks, etc.). Hoping to tame him a bit and keep him from wandering into harm, we had him neutered. Neutering had absolutely zero effect on Felix. He continued to wander, and his trips lasted longer and longer until one day he didn't return.

We put up signs all around, drove around looking, and even visited "Miss Angel". Strangely enough, Joey and Felix left for good the same week. Afterwards, there were a few possible sightings at a distance, but nothing to be sure of. I choose to believe the two brothers are off living a great Tom Cat life with lots of conquests and lively memories in the making.

When we finally gave up on the return of Felix, we took a trip to the Atlanta Humane Society. Will picked out a sad little Grey tabby named 'Rufus'. Something was wrong with one of his eyes; it was milky and he couldn't see properly out of it, but Will fell in love with him, so we brought Rufus home. We took him to the vet for the obligatory neutering required by the pound, all the necessary shots, etc. and began our life together.

One day something frightened Rufus and he climbed the TALLEST tree in our yard, which was bare due to Winter, and then couldn't get himself down. We got the longest ladders we could find and tried coaxing him with the smelliest fish we could find. Nothing worked. Up in the top of that cold, barren tree he stayed, night and day for 3 full days- BRRRR!! One day when Nana was over we were looking up and calling to him and he decided to relieve himself at that precise moment. A vigorous stream was emitted for what seemed like several minutes, and we were grateful that we weren't atop the ladder in the cold, shivering with a bowl of stinky fish in one hand and hanging onto the freezing ladder with the other (Amanda says things like that always happen when Nana is around). On the forth day we gave up and started calling professionals. There aren't that many "professional cat removers" in the yellow pages, but we found a professional tree climber who charged us $400.00 to scale the tree and retrieve Rufus. After that, I never saw him climb another tree.

Rufus came to an early, abrupt, and sad end, however. He was an "in and out" cat, so it wasn't unusual for him to sleep outdoors when the weather was warm. One time he stayed gone for 3 days. I knew something was wrong; he never stayed gone that long. Will went out in the back yard to feed the dogs and came back in yelling "Mom! It's Rufus", and he was crying. I rushed out back and found Rufus's poor lifeless body being tossed around by the dogs like a rag doll. We never determined exactly what happened; whether he met an unfortunate end prior to being found by the dogs or whether the dogs had, in fact contributed to his demise. I lifted his lifeless body and put it outside the fence in preparation for burial so the dogs could no longer play with it. When Michael came home, he buried Rufus at the base of the big tree that he had inhabited just a few months prior.

Will was heartbroken, but went on the lookout right away for a new cat. He found a "free kitten" ad for a Calico and called the man that had listed it (All this at age 8 without me even knowing about it!) Apparently, a young calico passed by this man's yard every evening and he had been feeding her dinner. This had gone on for several weeks, and the man was going to take her to the pound the next day if no home could be found. I told him we would take her in (I am partial to Calicos), and the man agreed to restrain her when she came by for her dinner that night. So after a full day of work, Michael (the dog lover) drove over an hour each way across town in the cold and pouring rain to pick up this little wandering calico. When he got her home, we realized she was really a Tortie, not a Calico. She was very dark and mysterious looking with piercing green eyes. She had obviously lived "in the wild" of suburban Atlanta and was very skittish. For weeks, you would enter our home and never know we had a second cat - she stayed hidden away and only rarely would we catch a glimpse of her - a quick dark blur running from one hiding place to another. For his own reasons, Will named her 'Muffin'.

Gradually, by spending A LOT of time with her, Muffin came out of her shell. As she did, we began to realize that we had gotten more than we bargained for when we adopted her. Muffin was PREGNANT and getting more pudgy by the day. We had no idea how far along she was, but as we sat at the year end program at Mill Springs Academy, Amanda leaned over and said - "Muffin's having her babies in my closet". Now how did she know that? When we got back home, we all went up to Amanda's room and BINGO - there was Muffin in the corner of Amanda's closet, partway through giving birth to a litter of 7 kittens.

Muffin's litter - May 2005

All of this when we still had carpet on the floors! What a mess! (We have since replaced the carpet with hard floors). When she was between kittens, I gently moved her and her litter into a large plastic bin that we had been preparing to be a kitty incubator. Will and I rolled the bin into my room and stayed up past midnight (on a school night!) until all of Muffin's babies were born. I kept feeling her abdomen to see if more kitties were on the way, and we were both exhausted when I finally pronounced "No More!".

As nature goes, some of Muffins' babies survived and some didn't. From the outset, Will begged to keep "just one", PLEASE. When the kittens were old enough to separate from mom, we began finding homes for them. By that time, Will was particularly attached to a male orange medium long haired tabby, and had already named him Garfield. What's a mom to do? I let him keep Garfield. So we were a 3-cat family: Domino, Muffin, and Garfield. Domino remained, and always was, Amanda's cat. Muffin was "sort of" my cat, and Garfield was Will's cat. Surprisingly, they all cohabitated without incident. Basically, Muffin and Garfield hung out together and Domino ignored them both.

Domino had been an "in and out" cat when she was younger, and we had never had a problem, so we allowed Muffin and Garfield to be "in and out" cats too. Then came the night that Muffin didn't come in. I knew in my heart something bad had happened because she ALWAYS came in and slept in the room with me. Anytime I awoke in the night I would look around and she would be sitting there watching over me. As hours turned to days, dread built in my heart until Michael came in from the back yard with grim news. Another tragedy - it began to look like the dogs were the culprits. But why in the world would a cat go back there? And cats usually win when sparring with a dog because they can climb trees and are so dexterous with their claws. I collapsed on the stairs and broke into sobs. Big, hard, inconsolable sobs. My sweet little Muffin, rescued from the streets and turned into a friend with tons of time and patience - was gone.

Michael buried her under the "Cat Tree" alongside Rufus. We never told Will - I couldn't bring myself to do it. He thinks she has wandered to a new home, and I guess in a way she has.

This left us with Domino and Garfield. With his mother gone, Garfield seemed lost and needy. I couldn't help bonding with him. We gradually developed a routine and seemed to have a unique way of communicating with each other. Meanwhile, Domino was getting on in age and more feeble every day. We tried to keep her comfortable and excused her occasional mishaps - she had been a good and loyal friend for so many years and you don't just walk away from a friend because they are old and feeble and can't make it to the bathroom in time. Finally, in the Summer of 2006, Domino passed away quietly on my bed while I held her. She didn't seem to suffer at all. She took her place next to Muffin and Rufus under the "Cat Tree".

Our Beloved Domino - 12/1990 - 7/2006

That left us a one cat family - Garfield got all of our love and attention and warmed even my dog-loving husband's heart with his unusually tender and "non-cat" ways. Unfortunately, Garfield LOVED to go outside, and would leap at any open door or window to get there. Once outside, he would run around in the front yard, but wouldn't come in or allow himself to be caught until he was completely exhausted and hungry. It always upset me when he got out, because of the fate suffered by Rufus and Muffin. A couple of months ago, he escaped through the front door and has never come back home. He played in our front yard for a couple of days, then just disappeared. I grieved, I cried, and I am still heartbroken. We put up pictures, fliers, and went all over our area of town calling for him and looking for him, smelly Vienna sausages in hand. A couple of people called us and believed they had seen him, but by the time we got there he was gone. That makes me hopeful that he has been taken in by some one and hasn't met with any harm. I choose to believe that. Garfield was the most loyal, gentle, loving cat I've ever had the privilege of knowing.

Now we have been a family with NO CATS for the last 6-8 weeks. That all changed today. We took a trip back to the pound with the intention of selecting a Female Kitten. Female so there would be no spraying and perhaps less tendency to wander. Kitten so we could bring her up "our way". We got there and the most striking long haired Calico/Tortie looked up at me with big golden eyes and I was hooked. Her name is Hazel, though we plan to change it once we live with her a bit and figure out her personality. We took Hazel into a private "petting room" where Will, Michael, and I were able to spend some time with her. She settled down quickly and started nuzzling against us. She clearly had been loved and not abused. The owner had surrendered her to the pound due to allergies. Although she's not a kitten (she's 4 years old), we still bonded and were happy to bring her home. After the requisite paperwork, payment, interview, collaring, and crating, we headed out. Just before reaching the front door of the Atlanta Humane Society, the crate door fell off and Hazel lept towards the open front door. I made a lunge for her and landed flat on my face but with enough of her in my stretched out hands to restrain her from flight. What a sight that must have been, me and the cat all over the floor with my oxygen tank gone flying. Will got Hazel and Michael helped me to my feet.

That was when we decided to purchase a $5.00 cardboard cat crate, put Hazel in it, and try our exit again. This time we made it to the van, and subsequently back home without incident. Hazel is mostly hiding, with an occasional dart from one place to another. She has been introduced to her facilities, and has returned to them several times, so it seems things are progressing well. I'm not thrilled at her escape attempt at the pound; I fear it's an indicator that she'll try to get outside. I can only hope and pray that she won't. She is already spayed, shots up to date, and she has a microchip locater already implanted.

As a condition of adoption, Will promised to participate in weekly baths, which may not be Hazel's cup of tea (another reason we had planned to get a kitten). That's the best way to keep fleas and loose hair away. Hopefully she'll adjust to the baths with time.

Although I never had a cat as a child, I've always been a cat person at heart. One of the first things I did when I left home was to adopt a cat - my very first one after all those years of waiting! I admit I'm a hopeless cat lover; I'll always have one in my house.

Now I think I'll go take some pain meds (the fall did a number on my joints) and try to find Hazel and enjoy some quality mommy/kitty time.

The Experts Say....

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances." -- Dr. Lee DeForest, "Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television." "The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives." -- Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project "There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom." - Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923 "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers " -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 "But what is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981 This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us," -- Western Union internal memo, 1876. "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s. "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper," -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take t he leading role in "Gone With The Wind." "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make," -- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies (Debbie's Deelites) "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out," -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962. "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible," -- Lord Kelvin, president, Britain's Royal Society, 1895. "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value," -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France. "Everything that can be invented has been invented," -- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899. "The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required." -- Professor of Electrica l Engi neering, New York University "I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself." -- Watson of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox. "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." -- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon," -- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 And last but not least. "We'll take no prisoners!" George Armstrong Custer - On the Little Big Horn---1876.

---

Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.