Domino

The call came from my sister in-law in the Summer of 1993. A family was moving and couldn't take their cat. Were we interested in adopting a cat? You bet we were! I have been a cat lover all my life. Since moving from an apartment to a house in March, Amanda had been begging for a cat. We wasted no time driving to the family's home in Kennesaw to meet Domino. She was clean and well cared for, pretty with bright green eyes. True to her name, her coat was black and white. The famly had selected her from a litter of kittens at the Big Chicken in December 1990, so she was almost 3 years old. After loading her and all of her "things" into my car, it was off to pickup Amanda and present her with a BIG surprise!

Amanda was thrilled. She immediately took to Domino and we headed home. For the hour or so drive, Domino roamed around the car howling and meowing - she was a bit freaked out, as to be expected. At home, we kept Domino inside for about 3 weeks. This was to try to get her well accomodated and lessen the possibility that she would roam. Finally the day came for her to go outdoors. She loved it. She ran all around the yard, darting here and there. She kept circling farther and farther from the house, and eventually went out of sight. Amanda was beside herself with fear. Would Domino come back? Would she run away? Would she get hurt? Bedtime came and went, but no Domino. With great difficulty, I finally got Amanda to sleep with the promise that I would wake her up if Domino came home.

Around midnight we heard cats outside. Opening the front door, I saw 2 black and white cats on the front porch, facing each other, backs arched, both growling. The problem was, I couldn't tell which one was Domino! We picked them both up and brought them inside. In the light, we were able to tell them apart. We put the other cat back out and I ran upstairs to tell Amanda that Domino was home safe and sound. The smile on Amanda's face was radiant. I placed Domino on Amanda's bed and they went to sleep.

Amanda entered Kindergarten in the Fall. She was in Mrs. Harris' class, and one of the highlights of the year was pet day. Amanda wanted me to bring Domino. On the appointed day, I placed Domino in a cardboard box and we drove the 2 miles to school. Carrying Domino in that box was tricky. She definately didn't want to be in the box, and was expending all possible energy to escape. I made my way as quickly as I could to Amanda's classroom and let Domino escape from the box. Now she was faced with a room full of 5 year olds - she was truely freaked out! She ran up the bookshelves to the highest place in the room and sat there glaring down at us all. Mrs. Harris asked Amanda some questions about Domino and the children watched her for a few minutes, then it was time for us to leave. I managed to get Domino back in the box and practically ran to the car. She was clawing and biting and howling, trying to get out. I barely made it back to the car before the box split open. I got her back home and she settled down. That was the last time I took her in the car without a proper pet carrier.

One night I came home late from work, in the days when I still wore panty hose and pumps. As I got out of my car, I saw Domino in the shadows fighting with another cat. I grabbed a broom and tried to seperate the cats. They started running through the yard and woods, still fighting. I gave chase, all the while trying to seperate them with the broom. Finally the cats got enough of it all and parted company, each going their own way. Panting, with ruined panyhose and muddy pumps, I limped back to the house, dragging the broom behind. As I neared the front door I looked up and saw Domino - inside the house. There she sat on the windo sill just watching everything going on outside. It was then that it occured to me just how many black and white cats there are in the world. I had just gone through considerable effort and sweat chasing 2 black and white cats around in the dark, and neither one was mine!

The maddest I've ever seen Domino was the day of the strawberry bath. Will was around 3 years old and wanted a bubble bath. At that age, he called her "Minomino", and liked to eat and drink from her dises in the kitchen. Anyway, I prepared the bath with an extra dose of bubble bath. The bubbles mounded up a good 1-2 feet above the rim of the tub. Quick as a wink, Will grabbed Domino and tossed her into the frothy mix. Like a bullet, she flew back out and ran as far away as possible. Soaking wet, she hid behind the couch in the den. She was a sight, all wet and bubbly and really ticked off! I took a picture of her and will try to find it.

Another funny Domino story is when we could hear her but we couldn't find her. It was really odd, and sounded like her meows were coming from the vents in the house. We had recently had some construction work done, and in the process the vent covers were removed for a few days. I was convinced that she had found an open vent and crawled into the duct work. It sounded like she was in the duct work under the floor in my bathroom. So Michael took a saw and cut through the floor and duct work to rescue her. After cutting a gaping hole in the floor we were disappointed when we found she was not in there. Although both Amanda and Michael had already checked the crawl space, I decided to go check it one more time. I opened the door and there she was. Domino just sat there and stared at me and let out a tiny little "meow". Then she calmly walked out of the crawl space as if nothing had happened.

At around 12 years old, Domino started having arthritic problems. It got harder for her to clean herself, and Amanda started giving her special medicine every day. We started bathing her in the bathtub since she couldn't clean herself very well. We had to hold her in the water - it took 2 of us to bathe her. After her bath, Amanda would wrap her in a towel and blow dry her hair. Domino was slowing down.

Last night, Amanda came in from the garage with tears in her eyes. She said something was wrong with Domino. I asked what was wrong and she said "I think she's dying". We put Domino on a towel and into a plastic crate and broght her in the house. She was very limp and unresponsive. I put the crate on Amanda's bed and left the two of them to be alone for awhile. Later, Amanda asked me if I would be with Domino, she just couldn't handle it. I put Domino next to me on my bed and slept beside her, my hand always touching her. I kept waking up and fearing the worst, only to see Domino still breathing, lying next to me.

At around 2:30 this morning I woke up and checked on Domino. She had pulled her little body over closer to me so that her head was on my pillow. She wasn't breathing anymore. The end had come. Her little lifeless body was cold.

Farewell Domino, we miss you. We are grateful for the many years of friendship and fun you gave our family. I know Amanda will have other pets, but there will never be one like Domino. From Kindergarten through High School graduation they were best buds.

Prednisone, Horns, and Popping Discs

Today was my monthly checkup with Dr. Butler. The GREAT news is that I'm going down again on my Prednisone from 12.5 mg to 10 mg starting tomorrow. The other GREAT news is that she is prescribing a brand new treatment for me to try that DOES NOT INVOLVE DRUGS!! It's something that has just recently been approved by the FDA; some sort of gadget that goes on your knees and hands while you sleep and sends electricity into the joints. Dr. Butler said it sounds wacky, but she knows the researchers that developed it and has high regard for them. During the trials, they were able to demonstrate through verifiable tests that this treatment actually reduces the inflammatory tissue in the joints by significant amounts. I'm eager to get started. I'll have to be fitted for the 'gadgets', and I'm sure Dr. Butler will have to write a justification to get my insurance company to fork over the $$ for it. I just wish I could remember what it's called!

Another good peice of news is that the skin on my back has finally healed, so I can go back to the pool. Since the pool is the only type of exercise I'm allowed to do, this really means a lot to me. I've gained so much weight on this nasty Prednisone over the last 3 years that I desperately want to lose. Even if I can only last 20 minutes in the pool, it's at least a MENTAL victory for me.

My back is another story. My L5/S1 vertabrae are "bone on bone", according to my doc. I am in excruciating pain most of the time, even though I take 60 mg of oxycontin every day and 6 Vicoden for breakthrough. It was so bad yesterday that I cried during my entire appointment with Dr. Becker. The doc says I really need surgery, but because of my health conditions I am NOT a good candidate for it. We are doing a series of 3 epidurals and praying for a good outcome. I've had 2 buldging discs for nearly 20 years now, and have had several rounds of epidurals that have been succesful. The difference now is I'm older, I have Osteoporosis (from the Prednisone), I'm Diabetic (from the Prednisone), and WAAAAAY overweight (from the Prednisone), plus the disc is in really bad shape. Honestly, I don't think I can face anymore surgery, I am afraid I couldn't make it through. So this is something I'm praying about a lot these days. Every now and then I get a few minutes when the pain dies down to a dull roar, like right now, and I can write to my blog or something sedentary. I'm pretty useless around the house; I can't stand up long enough to load the dishwasher, much less prepare a meal! We're all trying to pitch in and make the best of it, but after weeks on end staring at a dirty house and being unable to reach, bend, scrub, or anything, it gets pretty depressing.

I also saw my Opthomologist today. I have to see him every 6 months because of my Sarcoidosis and Diabetes. Everything looked pretty good, except my dry eyes are getting worse. I promised to start using the artificial tears like I'm supposed to do. He said if it doesn't improve, they can put little plugs in my tear ducts to help my eyes retain moisture. Now thats something I've never heard of....I learn something new every day!

Oh and one more update from last week - the Dermotologist says the lump on my forhead is a "bony cyst", and is harmless, and basically I just have to live with it. Ok by me - at least it's painless. I think all these weird bumps on my head and shins are from the Sarcoidosis, personally, but heck I don't have the Medical Degree, I'm just a humble Mathematician. On the other hand, maybe Mom is right and I'm sprouting "Prednisone Horns". It might actually be good if Prednisone gave you horns because they might warn the people around you about how nasty and volitile you've become on the inside from that poison.
So let's see, that updates the Rheumitoid Arthritis, Degenerative Disc, and Eyes and strange growing bumps. I won't see my Pulmonologist again until next month to get an update on how my lungs are doing. At my last visit he told me my disease (Sarcoidosis) had progressed to Stage 3 (ugh). The latest statistic I've seen on Sarcoid is that 5% of people who have it die from it. It's a far cry from what they told me in the beginning - and it's appalling how uneducated the medical profession is on the insidious nature of Sarcoidosis when it is systemic.

On the caution side, I fear I may have another ear infection. I'll be calling Dr. Levin tomorrow to take a look at it. If I do have one, it puts next weeks chemotherapy (Remicade) at risk, and I don't want that!

Like Gilda Radner said, "It's always something"..... In my case it's always something, if its not a disc popping out, its horns growing from your forehead.... (If you watched Saturday Night Live in the 70's you'll get that).

Well thats about all I can stand, so I'm off to take some pain pills and try to get some sleep. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Way Overdue

It's been over 1 month since my last post, in which I announced my hasty get-away to the mountains. Well, I made my escape, with the help of my family, and spent 3 restful nights in the Wolf cabin at George's on Blood Mountain. Being totally impulsive, I picked up the phone and made my reservation before thinking about all the help I would need to get up there and back. I can't drive that far, can't lift my bags and oxygen machine, and just generally needed a lot of help to get up there with everything I needed to stay for 3 days and then to get back home.

My family came to the rescue. Mom and Dad came over on Sunday. Dad and Michael loaded my bags and oxygen machine into the van, then Michael drove the van while Dad drove the car up to the cabin. When we got there, Dad, Michael, and Will unloaded all of my stuff and put everything where it needed to be. Will was hungry, so he had a bowl of pasta with Marinara sauce.

I think everyone was afraid to leave me alone - change that - I know everyone was afraid to leave me alone. I think they were afraid that I was suicidal. I was not. One big hint was that I took 2 suitcases. One was full of clothes. The other was full of beads and jewelry making supplies. I wanted to sit in the cabin, enjoy the view, and string beads. I don't think suicidal people do things like that. Here is a picture of my kitchen table, all covered up with beads and things----------->

They lingered for a long while before leaving me alone in the cabin. While "lingering", Will and Dad made a few trips up to George's store for coffee, cocoa, and video tapes for me to watch. The dish was out that night, so I asked for some "chick flicks" to watch later in my jammies. The lingering continued, so I finally hopped in the shower and took a looooooong hot soaking shower and put on my thermal pj's (it's still cold up in the mountains in May). It was the first thing I wanted to do when we arrived and I just couldn't wait any longer. So I politely excused myself and headed into the shower. Pure bliss. Steamy and hot, no one coming after you so you can use as much hot water as you want. Plus, I stayed in the handicapped accessible cabin, so there was a nice little seat in there I could just sit on and absorb the steam and warm water. I felt great, and somewhat like a limp noodle after that.

After everyone left, I settled in. I watched "Blue Sky", which was pretty good. It is about an Air Force family in the era of nuclear testing. The wife is very attractive and can't seem to "behave". It costs her husband a lot of trouble on the job, and eventually, his career. Then I tried my cell phone, and amazingly it worked - I got through to home and said goodnight and love you to everyone. That was the only time my cell phone worked during the whole stay. Next, I tried to watch Notting Hill, but I fell asleep. Oh well, I've seen that one before anyway.


It was very chilly at night - too cool to enjoy the deck. However, in the mornings I went out on the deck with my hot tea. The entire time I was there, it was overcast and misty - very foggy and not much of a view. I liked it anyway. It made things seem close-in and sort of cozy in a strange way.


On Monday, George and the cable guy came down to my cabin and fixed me up with TV. My craft lamp switch had broken that morning, and I showed it to George. He took it back to his office and hot-wired it so that whenever you plug it in, the light comes on - bypassing the switch. That's the kind of thing George does, and the reason we've been going back to his cabins for 13 years now. George confided in me that Michael (my husband) had already called that morning to check on me, saying that he was very concerned about me being alone with all of my health problems and making George promise to check in on me every day. Now that's a sweet husband, don't you think?

Outside my entryway, there was a huge patch of blackberry bushes just loaded with blooms. George said that around the first of July the bears would be frequenting that spot to get their fill of the delicious treats. I think that would be so much fun to be in the Wolf cabin around July 1! Here's a picture of a bit of the blackberry patch - just a tiny bit.... the patch is HUMONGUS!!! -->




On Tuesday afternoon, Mom and Dad came back up. They went up to George's store and got a Scrabble game and played for awhile. We all took an afternoon nap and ate leftovers from the fridge. They slept in the loft and drove me home on Wednesday morning. That's a real switch. We used to let Mom and Dad have the downstairs bedroom and we would sleep in the loft. Now I'm the one who has trouble negotiating the loft stairs, so I stayed downstairs and they took the loft. I think this is the first trip to George's ever that I didn't climb up into the loft at least once.
Here is a picture of the stairs to the loft. -------------------------------->



Before I got sick, I travelled all over independantly, flying everywhere, renting cars, staying at luxury hotels, all very self sufficient. It was very humbling to need so much help to take a simple 3 day trip just 1 hour away to Blood Mountain. I'm so very grateful for my family for supporting me, letting me have my space, and enabling me to take the trip. I really needed it.