Necessary Change

Tuesday I did someting I've been needing to do for a long time. I went to a new Psychiatrist. There were many 'little things', and some not so little, that had been bothering me about my prior doc. 6 months ago, my therapist left his practice and went out on her own. I chose to stay with him for med. management, and went with my therapist for counseling. I knew even before she left his group that things weren't right there.

A few weeks ago I was visiting with my Father in Love, Bill, and he made and observation about me. He said I tend to stay in a bad situation too long, even after I know it's bad. He was right on, as usual. This is just one more example.

My new doc. is a woman, right here in Alpharetta, within my driving range. So I no longer have to arrange a ride downtown to see my Psychiatrist. That alone is a help to me and everyone who helps me out. We hit it off great. She is very easy to talk to and worked with my needs. She even spent 15 minutes over our alloted hour (sometihng my prior doc WOULD NEVER DO). Then she even asked if the fee structure was going to be a burden for my family. Now when have you heard of that? I was dumbstruck. Then, you won't believe this - she gave me her CELL PHONE number and said to call anytime.

When I would ask my prior doc. what a certain medicine did, or how it worked, he would always shrug off my questions with answers like 'it just does', or 'it works on some chemicals in your body'. When I asked her, she brought out a diagram and explained to me how my current meds are working, and how other medicines work differently.

All in all, I'm very happy to have finally made the change. The only downside is that I've been asleep since Tuesday (now it's Thursday), except for a few hours. The effort to go back to the beginning of 'all this' and 'tell my story' to her was emotionally very difficult. It wiped me out, put me to bed, boom. But I'm over it now, and awake, and here I sit blogging about it all. Today I'll call and cancel my upcoming appointment with 'HIM', and that will be that. Done.

A Great Place To Cry

I can't believe I've never thought of it before. Today at the pool I cried my eyes out and not a person noticed. I swam for 2 hours (rather than the 30 minutes I promised my doctor I would limit my swimming to) - crying the whole time. It's really great; water splashing up, mixing in with tears, lots of noise to mask the occasionial sob - all in all a really great approach to the whole thing. Sure beat laying in bed watching Humphrey Bogart (although he is my fav. old actor) movies and crying all day. In the process, I was actually DOING something. For at least those 2 hours, NO ONE can accuse me of NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH. But I guess I could be accused of using it as a crutch.