I didn't die today

I've been swimming 3 times this week. It's pure torture. After I drag myself out of the pool and into the shower, I barely have the strength to dress. That's when I have my 'moment' in front of the mirror. I stare straight into it and say "I didn't die today!", then I leave the room and slam the door. That's my bit of defiance, my victory party for the day. I muster my remaining strength and take the elevator upstairs, check out, and lumber out to my car. I drop into the seat and turn on my oxygen and take a few deep puffs. I pop 2 Vicoden because the pain is unbelievable, and by the time I get home and lay down, they start to kick in. They never win, but they eventually take the edge off.

Our Y membership is paid up for the next 11 months. I'll be talking to that mirror a lot. Even if it's the only thing I do all day long, I'm going to get over there to have my 'victory moment' with that damn mirror. As long as I'm here to do it.