Gratitude List

I have a warm, safe place to sleep tonight.

I am surrounded by people who love me.

I have things I can do when I feel up to it.

I have been blessed with precious children for a time.

My parents taught me about Jesus Christ.

This life is not all there is.

Something

Alone then not
Either way feels wrong
A piece that doesnt fit
... anywhere
... anymore
What to say, what to do
...whats the point
...anymore
Unsettled in my own skin
....my own body a stranger to me now
Was there ever a point
...to this life
...to any life
...to this day
...this hour
...this minute
...this second
Aliveness is a faint memory
Pain is so familiar
...easing up beside me
...getting comfortable
...makig itself at home
...burrowing its way deep within my bones
...gnawing away
...grinding down
...inching further and further into places it doesnt have permission to be
Pain respects no boundaries
....no schedules
....no plans
....no place
....no lives
....no one